Tailor-Made

Last time we talked I mentioned the fact that I had, after months of abstaining, finally decided to go and get measured for a tailor-made coat in the market that I'd had my eye on for some months past.  To some of you, the thought that I could be living amid a sea of readily accessible and extremely affordable tailors and NOT be running out to have suits, coats, rain jackets and dresses made to my specifications is no doubt shocking.

I know because I was one of you.

Ever since that fateful day years ago when Bill and Jessica first told me that in China you could have clothes tailor-made at the push of a button, I'd dreamed of going there. I envisioned myself walking through the rows and rows of shops brimming over with multitudes of beautiful bolts of fabric all waiting for my approving nod to be turned into the creations of my mind.

I fancied myself quite the fashion designer after Kate and I watched and re-watched "If The Shoe Fits" a really terrible 90s version of the Cinderella story where "Cinderella" was the scullery-maid equivalent of...whatever that would be in the fashion industry.  We liked to sketch our own things after that. My magnum opus was my wedding dress. It was dragon-purple (just trust me) made of raw silk with vines of embroidered flowers racing up the side. Sadly, even by the time I was engaged in 2009 the world just wasn't ready.

Or if my own imagination ran dry, I could bring in magazines--or my stash of Anthropologie catalogs--and they would copy whatever I pleased.

It seems like this never happens: the dreamed-of thing actually living up to your glistening expectations, but however unlikely that's exactly what happened when I came to China. It was all true.  I arrived here and strolled through the fabric markets, eyes wide at the realization of my dreams. There really were rows and rows of shops bursting with fabrics and tailors waiting to take your pictures and turn them into clothes. The only thing I didn't account for was...well two things.

1. Just because a tailor makes something for you doesn't mean it fits and it definitely doesn't mean it looks awesome. (Who knew, right?)

2. In China, you have to bargain for [practically] everything. Which means those affordable tailor-made clothes are only affordable if you fight for them to be.

The later is not a problem for me. I have my "walk away" perfected, so that just leaves the former: When tailor-made starts looking like homemade.  When I first got here I rushed to the market and picked the tailor that gave me the lowest price to commission myself a new coat. I waited excitedly for a week to pick it up and when the day finally came I couldn't believe my eyes. The coat looked nothing like the adorable picture I had given the tailor to copy. What I had was a lopsided man's jacket in a girl's size. One shoulder sticks out awkwardly too far to the left and the other fits correctly, which leaves the impression that I'm oddly disproportionate and always on the verge of tipping over. I've worn the coat all winter long, but let's just say it's unlikely at best that it will earn the suitcase space it would require to bring it back.

To keep myself far from repeating this sad end I took on the only mission I knew to solve it: I must find the perfect tailor.  And after weeks of research, I did.

Exhibit A

What do you think?